Veronica Zamora

Where are men of integrity?

2012-02-11T23:55:00.003-05:00

Where are men of integrity? Who fight for purity in thought, tongue and act? Men who guard the hearts and minds of women? Who walk in honor and strength?

"Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." ~Titus 2:7-8

How can I, as a women of God, encourage and bring this out in the men around me?

Expletives

2012-02-06T00:08:00.003-05:00

I have found that there are words/phrases that when I hear them they are like finger nails on a chalkboard. The words/phrases, to me, lack passion and commitment.

The following are what I want to cut out of the worlds vocabulary:

~accommodate
~church shopping
~indulge

I know, the list is short but it's sure to get longer.

My question. What do we do about these words? Not so much the words, but the action or inaction of the people who ascribe to them?

In the Meantime

2012-01-24T21:32:00.005-05:00

"We're conditioned to mourn our empty glass

Long before it ever poured out our past.
Though our patience is always in short supply,
We'll leave our farsighted worries behind."

In the Meantime by Sleeping at Last.

Above Reproach

2012-01-17T21:17:00.003-05:00

As blank as a page we come.

Then, as a thief in the night, sin stamps its mark.

Try as we might to clean the spot,

We cannot...

In comes the knight who slays what smites.

He takes the dark page that once was white,

And cleans it by his bloody sword.

Whiter than the whitest white.

As bright as the Morning Star.

We can be what he meant for us to be!

Above reproach.

Bringing Up the Back

2011-11-10T22:46:00.002-05:00

The other day I was lining kids up and trying to separate them well so I wouldn't have any problems. Well, it was ending up where the ones more apt to getting in trouble and trail behind were are the back of the line.

I chose a girl who I trusted to be at the end so that she could keep the stragglers in line and caught up. I wanted her to help me out and I explained this to her. But still she was upset that she was chosen last and probably thought that she did something wrong to deserve the end.

How much so is this like out walk with the Lord? He trusts us and places us at the end of the line and we see it as a place of dishonor and punishment. But in reality God trusts us with the back of the line with the stragglers.

"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve." "Many who are first will be last, and the last first."

So when we find ourselves at the end of the line let's not complain and grumble and have a bad attitude, but let us embrace it and think/wonder that this God, Creator of the Universe, lover of my soul has trusted me.

SOULcial Status

2011-10-28T14:14:00.002-05:00

"Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet." ~Luke 7:36- 50

If we were face to face with Jesus on this earth, would we be like the woman who anointed him, broken and humble and obedient?

Or would we treat Christ like the Pharisees, as entertainment at a dinner party? One to be proven wrong and to embarrass in front of many?

The Pharisees were more concerned about Christ's social status rather than their SOUlcial status.

The Greatest Thing in the World

2011-10-11T13:51:00.003-05:00

"In the Book of Matthew, where the Judgment Day is depicted for us in the imagery of One seated upon a throne and dividing the sheep from the goats, the test of a man then is not, "How have I believed?" but "How have I loved?" The test of religion, the final test of religion, is not religiousness, but love; not what I have done, not what I have believed, not what I have achieved, but how I have discharged the common charities of life. Sins of commission in that awful indictment are not even referred to. By what we have not done, by sins of omission, we are judged. It could not be otherwise. For the withholding of love is the negation of the Spirit of Christ, the proof that we never knew Him, that for us He lived in vain. It means that He suggested nothing in all our thoughts, that He inspired nothing in all our lives, that we were not once near enough to Him to be seized with the spell of His compassion for the world. It means that-

I lived for myself, I thought for myself,

For myself, and none besides--

Just as if Jesus had never lived,

As if He never died.

(excerpt by Henry Drummond)

What If

2011-09-20T09:58:00.002-05:00

What if we have this whole church thing wrong? What if it's not a "go and get your tank full", but instead you give to God and others what you have tanked up on during the week. I wonder what would happen if we stopped treating it like the main event. What would happen if everyone went to give?

28 and 1/2

2011-09-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

Six years ago this month, September 2005, I made the best decision of my life that changed me forever. I gave up. I gave up trying to save myself. I gave up running. In desperate despair I gave up my life to Christ. He has refined me and grew me in so many ways. Ways that I could not have done myself.

He healed me of a broken self-image and gave me his image and likeness. He has shown me His love. He has wooed and romanced me, showing me who he meant for me to be. He has shown me my true femininity.

Looking back over the last six years I find that the Lord has used various situations, places and people to bring me to his heart. Bulimia and loneliness brought me to a posture that I've never been, kneeling before the Creator. At camp I was shown his majesty through nature and there I learned to talk with him. Friends, especially Sophia, loved me, challenged me and never gave up on me.

There is no way I can repay him. The lest I can do is give him back this life that he paid dearly for.

What a crazy, wild ride it has been! It's the best adventure I could of hoped for!

Lord, thank you for saving me and for showing me the love of a father, friend and lover.

"You have redeemed my soul from the pit of emptiness. You have redeemed my soul from death."

Afraid of Commitment...?

2011-08-22T11:14:00.002-05:00

So recently it came to my mind that the reason that I find myself in a different location every....say 6 months is that I could be afraid of commitment.

It could be possible true. I do have a fear of being "stuck" somewhere that I don't like. Or maybe I just like the view of an open road and a car full of stuff.

I don't know.

Still thinking.

Crescent Flakey

2011-08-14T19:06:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I feel like being flakey. Crescent flakey.

Sometimes I say to myself:

"Self...let's go out into the wild and forage shelter and food. And just live and live for myself."

But then I remember who I am and who I live for and know the above was a dumb and selfish comment.

Living for myself would be lonely and pointless.

Truth is Not in the Media

2011-08-08T14:00:00.002-06:00

As I find more time on my hands, I've been TV surfing (Labeling it as a sport makes it sound so much better). Basically there is NOTHING on. Well nothing worth watching.

As I flip through stations I see women being degraded, children being abused (not necessarily physically) and neglected, teenagers not having the support to make good decisions and frankly a whole bunch of ugliness.

This is the world we live in. Women being told we are not worth-it unless we are sexual, even then it's not guaranteed. Children being taught that abuse and neglect are normal. Teenagers are not guided with wisdom, learning that there are no boundaries and thinking that taking care of self is survival. Men forget how to be men.

Where is the truth? Who is teaching it? If not you then who?

"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without some one preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent?" Romans 10:14&15

Who will go? Who will give? Who will pray?

Death ≠ Natural

2011-08-04T22:33:00.003-06:00

"Death, it's a natural part of life."

False.

Death is the consequence of sin.

Life without death would be what the Creator intended.

Natural.

Random Blogging-ness

2011-08-02T21:39:00.003-06:00

I've decided that, in my mind, I have way too many Facebook status quotes. I want to share what's in my brain. Transplanting my brain again and again to many people is not possible, so thus blogging. I know...it's so cliche.

I'm limiting myself to one blog a day, so as not to annoy the masses. Most likely you will get short random thoughts.

I know that not alot of people read this so...I'm really writing to myself. Why not keep a journal, you say? Well, I do. There is just something...different about blogs.

Grab some popcorn, have a seat and enjoy this silly little thing called life.

Now What?

2011-08-02T16:28:00.003-06:00

Camp ended and thus my full-time pursuit ensued...finding out what to do with the rest of my life. Actually I just want to know what to do within the next few months. I've wrestled with this for quiet sometime. Um...I think since May of 2007.

Anyway after camp I went to Houston to visit friends that I haven't seen in over a year. Maybe I was having culture shock, but I looked around and found that I was surrounded by concrete. I realized that here you never have to go more than a mile to get anything that you need to live. I felt suffocated by it.

Also, in visiting these friends, I found that I have changed in this last year. I don't want the same things that I once did. It made me think more of what do I want. God has given me the choice. What do I do?

I found that I don't have a mission. What is my mission? What is it in my heart's cry? A wise Godly women set me down, gave me a meal to eat and questions to answer.

1. What is the title of the book of your life?

2. What was the name of the previous chapter you just finished?

3. What is the title of this chapter you're just beginning?

4. What is the title of the next chapter, after this?

5. Write an annual report, to God, in 6 words.

I still don't know where to go or what to do, but I do know that I need to be purposeful in this season, not to waste it. I'm not having appetizers waiting for the main course. Every season is the main course. I know that I will be right where I need to be as long as I listen and act to God's still small voice.

Unconditionally

2011-02-08T13:54:00.002-05:00

The bond of unconditional love is strong, very strong...unbreakable. It is the bond that will survive all. It will survive war, hardship, tragedy and death.

There is no greater love. A love that caused God to give his son to the world to die for the hope of the scoundrel, a people that could careless.

This love survives all...conquers all.

Married = Awkward

2011-01-02T15:24:00.003-05:00

I have come to the conclusion that married people are awkward. So if you were wondering, "hmmm....how can I become more awkward?", just get married and bam instant awkwardness. Congrats.

Along with being married and awkward, they like to make single people feel the awkwardness. Here are a few examples of this that happened to me today to prove my point. Both of these occurrences happened at church.

The first one, I was having a random conversation with a person that happened to be male. A married women walks into our conversation and asked if he was my husband...Talk about a conversation killer!!

The second, a different married woman that I struck up a talk with asked me if I was single and once she found out that I was asked me why I was...WHY?!?!...Thanks for keeping it awkward.

If this isn't evidence enough, just hang out with The Abates or The Renfros for an evening or two you'll see my point.

Are we following Christ for his salvation? Or do we follow him because he is worthy?

2010-12-17T16:35:00.004-05:00

There is plenty of talk, resources and opinions of "Christian living". Why talk about how to live as a Christian when our hearts aren't right?

There should be more talk of the worthiness of God and that is enough to follow Christ. When our hearts and minds are inline with Christ, is there need of talk of "Christian living"?

I want my thoughts and actions so lost in Christ that I unconsciously do this thing called "Christina living"? I want to follow him because his is totally and utterly worthy.

Not Enough

2010-12-13T22:29:00.003-05:00

We can't do enough to earn grace. We can't pray enough, feed the poor enough, or go to church enough to earn our way into heaven.

Ozwald Chambers says this in a much better way in "My Utmost for His Highest":

December 8th

By one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified —Hebrew 10:14

"We trample the blood of the Son of God underfoot if we think we are forgiven because we are sorry for our sins. The only reason for the forgiveness of our sins by God, and the infinite depth of His promise to forget them, is the death of Jesus Christ. Our repentance is merely the result of our personal realization of the atonement by the Cross of Christ, which He has provided for us...No matter who or what we are, God restores us to right standing with Himself only by means of the death of Jesus Christ. God does this, not because Jesus pleads with Him to do so but because He died. It cannot be earned, just accepted."

You can read the rest of this article and other articles by Oswald Chambers at utmost.org.

Infinite Possibilities

2010-12-07T16:33:00.004-05:00

No two snowflakes are the same.

The intricate pattern for each on is different!

¡How infinitely creative is The Creator!

(FYI: this is not my photo)

So...Clarksville thus far...

2010-10-31T17:39:00.003-05:00

It's been good in this unique time of my life to spend a ton time with my sister and nephew. It's something that I wouldn't trade.

Also, coming to Tennessee has been challenging. I'm having to live out what I have been taught in Chi Alpha: to go and to serve a community and to be apart of that community.

It's a challenge not because I don't want to, but because there are so many places to choose and it can easily become overwhelming.
I want to choose quickly as to not "church shop". I don't want to date, but commit.

So...how do I choose? Sometimes I wish that God would speak audibly to me.

First Attempt

2010-10-14T15:32:00.007-05:00

So, I guess I have been watching Cake Boss too much lately because I really really wanted to make fondant to top off a cake.

I searched online for a recipe because I know that anything can be made from scratch. I'm not just saying this, I am confidant that I can. So far I have made bagels, fig cookies (Fig Newtons), graham crackers, and much more. Point being, I know I can do this.

So...I compared recipes, bought everything that I need, and started me some fondant-en. Surprisingly, making it was quite simple and "went off without a hitch".

Being it my first fondant cake, it looks a little bit rough. I didn't have a plan of how to decorate it so I "went wherever the wind blew me". Ok...so It's ugly.

But I'm the Boss of this cake. So...watch out world...this is only the beginning!

Tennessee Here I Am

2010-10-03T14:06:00.003-06:00

Move to Tennessee...Check. Unpacked and found a place for my things...Semi-Check.

I find it a little bit strange settling in and adjusting to a place that I've never been before. This is the 4th or 5th time that I've moved to a place totally unknown to me and every one of those places have been different and have had different challenges. I wonder what the Lord will show me through Tennessee.

I'm Back...

2010-09-01T14:19:00.003-06:00

So...I am back in the States. It has been good to visit with family and friends, and interesting to re-enter into the culture of the US. Yes, the US has a culture that makes different from other nations. You might not be able to see it, but it's there.

Being back in the States has made me realize some things about this country, good and bad. Reminding me that while I live on this earth it is not home. My home is in heaven with my Father. So, no matter where I am on this earth I am a foreigner, and strangely I think that's kind of cool.

I plan on continue this blog and sharing a little bit of this crazy adventure with Christ.

So...ven conmigo.

Funny- Not So Much Haha Funny But Could Be

2010-04-29T09:11:00.002-06:00

Funny thought...When I get back to the States, I might relate to people from other countries more than States people.

It's a funny thought that I'll be awkward in my own country for a bit.

I'm glad that my citizenship is in heaven and I won't be awkward there.

Oh, Christian Wake Up!

2010-04-25T16:46:00.002-06:00

Oh, what a sick and empty church we are! We say one thing and do another.

We think we are "alright" if we come to church and raise our hands and voices.

How mistaken we are! We cheapen God's grace! We tell Jesus that what he paid on the cross was not all that much.

We have the gull to think that we are better than those broken people who refuse to come to church and to "get saved".

Oh, why would they want to come when our Body is diseased and deformed.

Oh, what hypocrites we are!!

Refusing to let go of the things that embitter us, that trap us and that make us a proud people, a stiffed necked race.

Oh, Christian WAKE UP! See your disease. See your entanglement. See what you refuse to see.

SEE that your Creator has made you for so much more.

Thank God for his patience with us. For God's patiences means our salvation.

If you're wondering were you should be, there you are.

2010-03-07T15:30:00.004-05:00

Nostalgic:noun- 1. A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

Sometimes I find my self nostalgic, but really it doesn't make sense to be. I'm not promised tomorrow.

"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." James 4:14

Summer in the Winter

2010-01-23T14:59:00.003-05:00

Being in Chile had messed up my internal gauges that tell me what's up. I use to be able to tell you what time it was by looking to see where the sun stood in the sky (and I'd be within 15 minutes) or what season it was by that distinct smell that passed through the air.

However, now I have no idea what time it is. I don't know what month it is. It felt like Christmas in August and then when Christmas did come around I didn't know what to do with myself. Now I have to rely heavily on watches and reversed calenders.

At the moment, my skin tells me it's summer (I've waited two winter for it), but my head says it's winter. I haven't looked at a compass here, nevertheless something tells me it won't read like I'm use to.

In saying this all, when we think we have things all figured out everything changes. And it's okay with me because I know that my God is the same yesterday, today and forever.

All I Wanted for Christmas was a...Sunburn?

2009-12-28T20:30:00.003-05:00

On Christmas Day, due to the privacy of Melody's and my backyard, we laid out in the sun to soak up the rays to commence the tanning of the summer.

Since being here in Chile I've notice that the sun here is extra strong. Twenty minutes in the sun here is like an hour in the sun in Texas (I might be exaggerating).

(Side Note: my vocabulary succeeds my ability to spell. It's taking me forever to write this.)

So, we greased up and laid out forgetting about the super strong sun. Then a couple of hours later...this lobster was done.

I rarely get sunburned. My skin is the type were it just tans. Well fans, I was so sunburned that that night I could only sleep on my sides and at that not very well.

One thing I do get to take from this sunburn is an awesome tan. Who would of thought a tan at Christmas time?!

The Gift From the Gas Man

2009-12-10T12:41:00.004-05:00

Here in Chile they have gas men that come around everyday with their trucks selling bidons of gas.

Melody and I call, well Melody calls, the same gas man to come and deliver gas when we run out. This guy turns out to be nice in the non-creepy sense and he's not weirded out or intimidated by our not speaking the language in full.

Today he drove by and I happened to be outside. He stopped in front of our house and he motioned for me to come to the fence.

He got out of his truck and handed me candles with Santa Clauses on the front as a Christmas gift. He remembered that Melody and I are spending Christmas in Chile and wanted to wish us a Merry Christmas.

I'm not sure if he does this for all of his customers or if it's because we give him tips, which we found out that it's not the norm to do.

None the less, it was surprising and made me feel the warm fuzzies inside because he thought of us.

Lesson:
God uses the unexpected to speak to us.

I Want To Grow Old...

2009-12-03T22:13:00.002-05:00

Getting old is fun. Well...most of the times.

Today, while on a run, I was walking at one point and I wanted bring my arms up in the speed walking stance. I hesitated at first, not sure if I would look like a 30 year old mom to 3 children under 5 that I had always seen in my home time.

Then I was like, "Wait I'm only 3 1/2ish years away from 30. I can totally pull this off!"

I got really excited and wanted to buy a wind suit and hand weights. Then I thought about stuffing cats so that they could live with me forever. Haha not really, but close.

Well, that was my thought for the day. It's a stepping point to get back in the the blogging habit.

A Letter to Satan

2009-11-04T21:02:00.005-05:00

I wanted to share this video that I happened upon through facebook.

It's 9 min. and 45 sec., but it is worth your time.

Title: A Letter to Satan

If the video doesn't work here is the link.

Hi My Name is "Gringa"...I Mean Veronica

2009-10-21T22:16:00.002-05:00

It has come to my consciencness that I would like to explain the word "gringo" that is used here in Chile.

In the States it would be totally offensive if a spanish speaker called someone from caucasian deseant "gringo". In thus saying, we in the States take being called "gringo" bad-like and convert that over into other countries' use of the word.

Let's start with the history of the word "gringo", according to Wikipedia.

One account of "gringo" was derived from the Mexican-American War. The Mexicans who knew little english referred to the Americans' green uniforms and would shout, "Green go!", meaning "Leave our country."

In thus, me being born in the US naturally makes me a "gringa" despite my heritage.

The second explaination is that "gringo" is derived from the spanish word for greek. "Gringo " was then , some date in time, use to refer to anyone who did not speak well. In this instance "gringo" is like the phrase "It's all greek to me".

Does this describe me? ummm....yess

My final revelation of the word "gringo" is a story of railroad construction in Chile. When William Wheelwright built the railroad from Caldera to Copiapo in Chile, the workers were trained to stop on red lights and to go on green lights. But they did not understand English, so William would repeatedly say: "Green - Go Green - Go Green - Go". And therefore all they remembered was "Gringo" and began calling him that.

My experiance with being called a "gringo" here in Chile is not meant as derogatory. To me "gringo" = cool foriegner who is amazing. "Gringo"= excussed. I embrase my "gringo-ism". I am proud to call myself a "gringa" and I proudly call people here in Chile who are not from a latin country a "gringo", never in a disrespectful way, but alway as a term of endearment.

In a way we are all "gringos" no matter where we are from or our heritage.

Come Away With Me

2009-10-19T22:43:00.003-05:00

I love finding the Lord in everything especally music.

I hear a Nora Jones's song. To me, it immediately made me think of my relationship with God and how much He wants to spend time with us. It's God's invitation us to his heart. No matter where we are God will always extend us an invitation. We just need to read it.

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

Chile Wins!

2009-10-15T14:15:00.002-05:00

I have no idea the depth of Chilean's obsession with futbol otherwise known as soccer.

The other day Chile played Columbia for a place at some big thing in South Africa. We had youth the same night. Normally youth starts at 7pm, but that night we started around 8ish (not scheduled) all due to this soccer game. To me this is crazy, to chileans it's normal.

After the game ended and it was determined that Chile won, the celebration started.

I witnessed within a one block drive a group of guys hoopin' and hollerin' in the middle of the street while celebrating with passing cars, two different couples holding the chilean flag in hand waving it around shouting out jubilees, and two tiny boys pumping their arms in the air celebrating victory.

A few hours had gone by and I surely thought that the celebration would die down, but I was wrong. Cars where still honking their horns letting everyone who didn't know Chile won.

Just imagine what would be if Chile, if the world worshiped their Creator this way.

Figgy Figs

2009-09-29T21:04:00.003-06:00

I made Fig Newtons today. It's crazy what missing a food from home will do. I tried to look up how to make Dr. Pepper but no luck, yet.

Anyways, back to the Fig Newtons. They were a lot of work. I sweated and toiled for maybe 2ish hours. No organic cooking mom or working lady in her right mind would have time to make these things. (I don't know what that says about me.)

Don't get me wrong they are good, but if I could I would of bought them.

I Have Not Failed

2009-09-23T22:02:00.004-06:00

Oh the adventures of public transportation!

Today I was going to Coquimbo for small group at Catolica del Norte. Mayra was out of town and Melody was sick, so I went by myself.

It was suppose to be simple. Get on a bus going in the right direction and meet Marcela(one of the small group gals) at the hospital which is on the main road. How much easier could this be?! I conquered La Serena!

Except (there are always exception), there are multiple buses going to different places and I didn't know which bus to take. So, there I was at the bus stop waiting for one.

"Which one should I take?" I'm taling to myself. "Coquimbo Directo? Coquimbo with the street names I don't know how to pronounce? San Juan?, definately not that one."

"Ask those girls they should know. You can do it! Just say, 'Permiso, cual micro va al hospital?' It doesn't matter if it is grammatically correct. Just do it!"
(I should change this blog's name to Musings of a Daft Girl)

So I gave in to the persistent side of me and asked. Coquimbo Directo! Yes! I communicated without utter failure! High five to me!

I got on the Coquimbo Directo bus, told the bus driver where I was going, got back the right change, and found a seat without anybody's butt in my face. Awesome!

The bus driver's driving and everything looks good. Then things start looking different. I'm not worried yet.

"Whoops, there's that fishing place. I think I took the wrong bus. Should I get off and walk toward the hospital? No too far and are you crazy Veronica. You're in Coquimbo by yourself."

So, I decided to ride it out. Eventually all the buses turn around and go back to where they came from. I rode the bus until I was the only one left on board. That has to be a bad sign if you're the only one left.

Then, the driver stops and asks me where I am going. "Awe Man!" I told him to the hospital. The look on his face said this, "Oohhh, that's what you were saying back there."

He starts mumbling something in spanish that I didn't understand and gives me back my money. I must of had a deer scared out of it's mind in the head-lights look because he started speaking slow.

He tells me to go to the corner and get on a bus with the La Serena signs.

"Which corner? That one, that one, that one, or that one? There are four. I do not want to get off of this bus in this neighborhood. Can't you just change you're signs and take me?" (Oh, the day when I can express all these words!)

Praise the Lord, a La Serena bus came past just then. I jumped of the Coquimbo Directo and ran toward the La Serena one. "Yes I made it in under 30 seconds!"

I told this driver three times that I was going to the hospital to make sure that he could take me there. "I think I pronounce hospital wrong. Maybe that's why it's taken this long."

It's 5:45 and small group started at 5:30 and Marcela keeps calling to see where I'm at. And I can only come up with: 'Estoy en camino' and 'Estoy en la central de Coqumbo' and 'Si'(my favorite word).

Side note: I am horrible at communicating on the phone in spainsh. It takes away body language which I rely heavily upon.

The clock is ticking away, I can't understand anything Marcela is telling me and now I am completely frustrated and tears are flowing down my face. I call Melody to do the phone communicating because she is way better at it than I am.

With a few more back and forth phone calls (me to Melody, Melody to Marcela, Melody to me; and repeat) and more tears, I am told to go back home and not to worry about it.

As soon as Melody tells me this and I hang up with her, the hospital is in view. I look out my window towards the hospital, study it as the bus drives by and thinking of the irony of it all.

I'm sure the bus drive by this point thinks that somebody died.

I can't call this little adventure a failure. I communicated well enough with the girls at the bus stop and with the bus drivers to make it to Coquimbo and back.

Melody has a quote for us by Thomas Edison:
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

So I will keep on keepin' on.

"I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."

"Things Are Not Always How They Seem. Will You Be Ready?"

2009-09-17T12:16:00.005-06:00

I was running around the neiborhood today with Melody. Literally we were running, for excercise. Which the people that see us run really don't understand why, but that's a different story.

This route that we were running was a new one. Melody discovered it, so she was leading. I had somewhat of a basic idea of where we were going, so I felt comfortable following.

We were running and running, the sun was shinning down on up, we met a small friend that decided to follow us. Everything was normal, it's what I was expecting.
Then Melody ran passed were I expected us to turn, but we continued straight. I was confused and a little upset.

The running thoughts in my head: "Where are we going? I thought we were suppose to turn up there. I don't think she knows where we are going. Maybe I should of lead. No, Veronica! You're so dumb. Why are you thinking like this? You're dumb! Stop it!"

Then God spoke to me, not audioble, but to my heart of course. This is my inturpretation of what he said:
"This is like our run together. You let me lead as long as you know where we're and going and how far it's going to be. And then when I take a turn or continue straight you complain and fail to trust me. I am God this is my run. Trust me in the unexpected and pray for strenght to endure. I will give you strenght."

It's so dumb when we think we should lead. When we think that, it's probably and indicator that we shouldn't.

I apology to the Lord and to Melody. I'm sorry I'm dumb. I should trust your judgment. Please continue to lead.

"The Best Way Out Is Through"

2009-09-07T21:15:00.006-06:00

What is it about being outdoors? Breathing in clean fresh air. It has a way of making me forget everything that is happening elsewhere and only focus on what is at hand.

No Facebook. No language. No meetings. No distractions.

Sometimes it sucks.
Sometimes there are blood sucks that make it into the catagory of insects. Sometimes it's stinkin' cold; and sometimes the only way out is down and at times straght down. But once you're finished and you get to sit down and think about everything that happened it was quite extraordinary.

Extraordinary because I have the legs and ability to finish! Extraordinary because I got to see and experiance the creation of the Creater of all! Extraordinary because I sit in the middle of refreshing and healing.

I Would Like To Buy A Hambuger

2009-08-27T21:38:00.003-06:00

I found a perfect visual that helps to share with you, the world, how it feels when I speak spanish...sometimes.
Enjoy!

Accept and Rejoice

2009-08-12T21:14:00.004-06:00

I came across this after listening to my MP3 on shuffle.
Man! The things that I forget that I put on there.

Good Stuff!

Benediction by Jimmy Needham

No one is good, there is not even one.

The front pages of papers of children raped by rapist.
Iraqi torture chambers and we the blame, claim we're blameless.
Wrong...All

And swelling up inside of us
There's this pride in us, this arrogance.
And our only line of defense is the sense that
I'm not as half as bad as this friend of mine,
So I must be fine.
We mean well...don't we.
Yet I've never seen good intentions set a man free
From hurt...All

This poor unfortunate soul,
Filling a single void with toy after toy, girl after boy.
How boring!
This wasn't this meant to be Humanity's life story.
Warring with God saying, “What have you done for me?!”
Bought...All

Hanging out for six hours, marred beyond recognition,
In complete submission to the Father's will.
Still a proclamation was made,
Louder than the loudest temptation.
With more beauty than all his creation.
More eternal than eternity.
More angelic than the heavenlies.
It Is Done!

You are bought with blood.

Accept and Rejoice

For freedom has come.

All In A Day's...Week's...I Mean Month's Work

2009-08-08T23:10:00.004-06:00

One night about two-ish months ago, I found that I had gotten bitten by something. The consecutive days I would experience waking up with unrelenting itchy red bumps. I couldn't figure it out. I googled bed bugs, spiders, ants and any other bug I could think of.

Then in the wee morning of 2 weeks ago, I woke up scratching my arm. I flipped on the light. Flung off my covers, despite the cold dark morning air. I scoured every inch of my bedding looking for any clue to what was biting me. Then I found it...A FLEA!

It was all happy jumping around full of my blood. It was probably feeling like I do after a good cup of coffee. I tried to smash it so that I could get back my precious sleep, but it was too quick for me.

In that moment I had two choices, to stick it out and stay right where I was or to get the heck out of there and sleep in Melody's bed.

What do you think I chose?

I got the heck out of Dodge!

The next day I cleaned like a Moms Gone Wild. I stripped my whole room, washed all my bedding and clothes, vacuumed everything. Then I went to the store and bought RAID, the stuff men are made of! I use three quarter of the bottle in my room. I waited three days and tried sleeping in my room again.

One night no bites. Two nights no bites. “Yes I killed them!” Three nights.... “DANG IT! Oh man! Is that a flea? Not in the living room!!”

I spent the next week sleeping in Melody's bed.

After been tired of being scared out of my room, I decided that I wouldn't let these little boogers rule my life. I was going to fight to the bitter end!

That day I went to the local home and garden store and bought neurotoxin for bugs. I know it's bad for animals, little kids and probably the environment, but I wanted those suckers dead and dead fast.

I sprayed everything. Inside and outside. The only thing I have to do now is wait.
Wait to live, wait to die, wait for an absolution that would never come. Ok, I'm kidding. That was from Titanic...the movie.

But really.

In two week we shall see if the little culprits' pupae live.

How To Make a Bookmark

2009-08-04T10:54:00.004-06:00

So I was searching the web one afternoon looking for a fun easy craft(I think I'm getting older). I saw this video and hit my head. "How 'come I never thought of this?! It's so easy. I am so reading more now!"

I'm sure that you all already know this one, but I'm so amazed that I'm blogging it.

I hope that you enjoy reading more now.

How to Make Corner Bookmarker

Priorities

2009-07-16T23:35:00.002-06:00

"You hoped for rich harvests, but they were poor. And when you brought your harvest home, I blew it away. Why? Because my house lies in ruins, says the LORD Almighty, while you are all busy building your own fine houses." ~Haggai 1:9

What are our priorities in life? What really matters to us?

Oswald Chamber says it like this,"Your priorities must be God first, God second, and God third, until your life is continually face to face with God and no one else is taken into account whatsoever."

Have we neglected the Lord and put in place of him STUFF?

"Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it." ~Haggai 1:6

Do we really know the weight of our desicions?

El Calefón

2009-07-11T11:32:00.003-06:00

A calefón is a water heater. Every Chilean home has one. It sits in the kitchen right near the sink. It continually makes hot water throughout the house when it is lit. It gets it's gas from the balloons of gas (as I call them) that you can buy from the *ding*ding* trucks as they pass.

The gas balloon is full, the calefón is lit, and the water is on, but there is no hot water coming from the kitchen sink. Why? What is the use of things if they don't fufill their purpose?

Our purpose: to worship the Lord.

Question: Am I fulfilling that purpose? Or just wasting oxygen?

Language Mush

2009-05-19T00:27:00.007-06:00

Somedays the words just won't come out of my mouth and I can't understand anything that is being said.

Today was one of those days. I had small group and I tried so hard to understand what was being said, but my brain would freeze and them go into sleep mode. Anything that I would say was nothing understandable, only babel like a toddler(or that's how I feel).

I order lunch at KFC (yes Chile has one). I was like "Yes all I have to do is order a number two", WRONG. The cashier said something that I didn't remotely get, I guessed at what was being said to me and normally guessed wrong, and the chicken giving guy...I couldn't even tell you what he said. All I wanted was chicken, I didn't care what kind I was done with making decisions. I don't even know how I got the food.

I sometimes wish that I could miraculously learn spanish in one day...ok a week. But through this struggle in learning and communicating has taught me what it means to lean on the Lord.

The Lord is stripping me of everything that I depend on myself for and placing himself as the Rock that I cling to.

"There is no one holy like the Lord;

There is no one besides you;

There is no Rock like our God"

1 Samuel 2:2

Dealings With

2009-05-11T09:53:00.004-06:00

Something that God has been dealing with me about my testimony is that it's not for me to keep. The story God has given us is not ours. It is not for us to keep to ourselves.
Since the story we have is not ours, we have no right to it.

God does not carry shame, so we need not to have shame for our past. Our past is our past and it is not who we are. It does not define who we are.

Have confidence in Christ that he will not leave our sides.

Foreigner

2009-04-20T22:29:00.000-06:00

Ok, confession time. In the States when I would come across a person totally new to our language and culture I would kind of shy away from them only making small conversation and never thinking of their wanting to learn the language. I would stick to the basics and then get the heck out of there. I never knew and/or understood their wanting and needing for someone to keep talking to them even if they didn’t understand. I never really got how much I should of loved them. It takes me moving half way around the world to understand.

Flickr

2009-04-18T21:57:00.002-06:00

While I'm in Chile these next 11 months I am doing a photo project. I am posting one photo for everyday that I'm here. Most of the time, I hope, I will write a little something about the country, the people, my feelings, the Lord; basicly anything that I am thinking at that moment. It's kind of like a photo blog.

Why am I not posting them here also, you ask. It's because I am lazy and don't want to post the same things in two different places. So... there you go.

So if you are intested click here.

Traveling Thoughts

2009-04-16T20:35:00.001-06:00

So much to absorb.
So much to do.
Where would we be without our Lord?
In every moment I cling to Him
Knowing that He is enough;
Satisfying my every need,
And knowing what is good for me.

Lord you are my strong and mighty tower!
You are the rock on which I stand!
Shielding me from the enemy’s blows,
And strengthening me in every stand!

Haiku-ing

2009-04-06T23:50:00.002-06:00

I ran across the poetry form of Haikus while randomly searching for something else. I decided to make some of my own and here's what I have come up with.

Glory of the Lord
Larger than life, I must go.
Otherwise I might die.

Into the cistern
Empty and dry, I need more
More than this world's cry

Coming from the east
His voice like rushing waters
And I fall facedown
Words from Ezekiel 43

Wonder of His love
So satisfying So full!
Llena mi vida

Non-Corny Title Here

2009-03-15T21:33:00.003-06:00

A new chapter of my life is beginning. No, not a new chapter, but a new book. It's a series about how the Lord has made me and how He is using me.

This new book happens to be marked by my 26th birthday. Yes, I am 26 or soon will be!!

I'm not going to write about my hopes and fears of this new book of my life series, but of what the Lord has done in my life.

I am grateful for the family he has given me. The older I get the more I appreciate them or learn to appreciate them. Sounds cliche, I know. I am blessed to be raised with parents who knew how to discipline their kids, but also knew how to hug them.

I am grateful for the struggles I went through before I met Jesus. These struggles made me realize that no matter how good of a person I thought I was I needed a savior, desperately. Without the loneliness and despair of that time in my life I would have not made the best decision of my life, transferring to Sam Houston State University.

At Sam Houston, I met my amazing friend Sophia who loved me and had patience with me like she never knew she could. Through this friendship I met the best friend, lover, and brother that I have ever had, Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for my Chi Alpha family whom has helped me grow in Christ and showed me love and how to love. They made me realize the importance of people and the value of one soul!
I am grateful for these friends whom have kept me accountable to what I say I believe . I love these friends for being so generous to me and illustrating God's mercy and grace.

I am grateful that the Lord has given me an opportunity to go to Chile to love like I have never loved before.

I am grateful that God loves me just the way I am, but loves me too much to let me stay the same.

This is only part of a larger story.

"If Anything Matters, Then Everything Matters"

2009-02-18T13:38:00.004-05:00

I just finished reading The Shack by Paul Young. Reading this book made me realize all the wrong ideas I have of God. It challenged and changed my ideas and thoughts of Him.
Even though this book is fiction, it's the truth.

Here are some quotes from the book:

"You must give up your right to decide what is good and evil on your own terms...To do that you must know me enough to trust me and learn to rest in my inherent goodness."

"[Mack] But, don't I have the right to....[Sarayu(the Holy Spirit) To complete a sentence with our being interrupted? No, you don't. Not in reality. But as long as you think you do, you will surely get ticked off when someone cuts you off, even if it is God."

"[Sarayu] You humans, so little in your own eyes. You are truly blind to your own place in the Creation. Having chosen the ravaged path of independence, you don't even comprehend that you are dragging the entire Creation along with you."

"And freedom is a process that happens inside a relationship with him."

"In seminary he had been taught that God had completely stopped any overt communication with moderns, preferring to have them only listen to and follow sacred Scripture, properly interpreted, of course. God's voice had been reduced to paper, and even that paper had to be moderated and deciphered by the proper authorities and intellects. It seemed that direct communication with God was something exclusively for the ancients and uncivilized while educated Westerners' access to God was mediated and controlled by the intelligentsia. Nobody wanted God in a box, just in a book. Especially an expensive one bound in leather with gilt edges, or was that guilt edges?"

"And he went out, not knowing where he was going." Hebrews 11:8

2009-01-02T01:02:00.002-05:00

Through the holidays and support raising, Melody and I get the question, "So, what are y'all going to do in Chile?" We answer to the best of what we know. Every time someone asks that question, I ask that question to myself. In my heart I have no idea how to answer that question. How do you answer a question that has infinite possibility of answers?

I was stuck on why I felt this way. Then I read some Ozzy Chambers and he had the words that I had been searching for.

"There is no logical statement possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the difficulties in Christian work is this question - "What do you expect to do?" You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually revise your attitude towards God and see if it is a going out of everything, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in perpetual wonder - you do not know what God is going to do next. Each morning you wake it is to be a "going out," building in confidence
on God."

So what will I be doing in Chile? I have no idea. I have high expectation and yet none at the same time. When we put our goals, expectations, hopes, dreams onto the shoulders of the living Christ anything is possible. This is why living/working for Christ is the best "living" that I can think of and that I want.

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"
Matthew 6:25

My Biggest Challenge

2008-12-20T02:03:00.001-05:00

The biggest challenge that I have faced in fund raising is asking for help, admitting that I cannot do it alone. In our society, not being able to independently support ourselves (with lack of better words) is somewhat of a disgrace.

Betty Barnett, in “Friend Raising”, says my thoughts and feelings best:

“Contemporary cultures breed independence and self-sufficiency. We’ve been well trained by such phrases as, “Make you own way in this world!” “Don’t be lazy!” “You can do it!” Both history and personal experience prove, however, that we are ill equipped to make it on our own. Satan’s lie that we are indeed able separates us from one another and from God, whose Word neither says nor implies that “God helps those who help themselves.”

“Aspiring to independence from God caused Satan’s fall from heaven. Grasping for independence subsequently destroyed relationships in the Garden of Eden (Gen. 3) and continues throughout history at the heart of all separation from God and from others.
“Most of us are programmed with cultural how-to’s that say, “Don’t lean on anyone. The self-made man is the one admired.” Many potential missionaries are temped to say, “I can’t ask for money. I’d be embarrassed. I don’t know how to accept. Can’t I just have a part-time job on the side?”

“Such statements, which in one sense challenge us to responsibility, also spawn a death-producing independence contrary to the kingdom of God. This independence is rooted in pride, whereas interdependence is rooted in humility. God’s Word reveals to us our weaknesses as mere humans while at the same time offering us a personal, intimate relationship with Him and with on another do we become strong. Only through humility are we free to acknowledge our need for God and others.

“Ironically, the more we try to be strong without the help of others, the more we are weakened. At the same time, confessing our weakness and admitting our need for God and others strengthens us. “For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10)”

Fund Raising

2008-12-15T01:06:00.002-05:00

Fund raising… What a challenge God has placed in front of me! I believe that God can release the funds at any moment. Going to people and asking them to help me is not saying that God can’t provide, but fund raising is a testament to who God is. When all the money comes in people won’t say that it is because of all the work that I have done because I am doing a minuscule amount of what He is doing and has done.

“May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” Galatians 6:14